this is an post on how i feel right now and dont bother to read if you  dont wanna get fed up with me wtf.
nope i'm not angry.just feeling on the blue side today..
was feeling bored after doing moral assignment at home..why on earth do we have to take moral studies anyway?malaysian stil dont have moral these days...anyways..
so after chatting with some friends..i decided to get my butt out of the house and just escape for awhile..
parents have been presuring me with studies..i cant stand it anymore..
so i thought hanging out with friends was a good idea..
i thought they're the ones i can depend on when i'm sad...
but i'm not planning to tell my so-sad story to ruin their mood..
just keep quiet..crack some jokes and laugh to get over it..


things just dont turn out the way i expected..
they dont expect me to crash their plan..
they were doing things for my upcoming bday...
i knew about that but i asked whether i could just go over for awhile..
but all the time there..
i felt uncomfortable ...
we dint really talk much and i was in a corner..doing my stupid moral assignment watching anime...
the anime was funny..although i laughed but i know deep down i was unhappy..
it makes me feel guilty and unwanted,,
like i gate-crashed a party or intruded something i should not get myself into..
well..my friends kept to themselves and they did said things to make me feel guilty..
although i know they did not mean it..
but i was hurt and i got no where to go...
keep telling myself to get over it and smile like nothing happened ...
but there are times where you just cant find the energy to smile..
i dont blame them...
then we went for a short jog...
this is a good time for me to get away from everything..
i thought a lot that time..
my friends do sense that something is wrong with me buti just smile and said nth is wrong..
dont want them to think i'm a sensitive person..
i thought a lot during that period of time..
mostly reevaluating myself...
i know i'm not a good person...
not even a good friend...
sometimes i think i'm a pain in the ass ..
but everytime when i did something wrong or oversaid some things..
i tend to blame myself and often i felt sorry deep down but never have the courage to undo my mistakes...
i know sometimes i tend to hurt my friends without realising it ...
i'm sorry ..
sometimes being with my friends...
i felt left out and unwanted...
like i'm not one of the crowd..
maybe i'm just too sensitive wtf
but that's who i am anyway...
mayb because of bearing too much scars left by past frienships that i tend to take caution everytime being with friends..
i find it hard to share my own stories with them..
not because i dun want to..
i just dunno where to start..
sometimes my friend thinks i'm emoing when i'm quiet...
but deep down i'm nmot unhappy..
just quiet...
why do i always have to be first one to speak up...
i'm fed up with doing such things..
i dun think it's necessary to talk all the time...
sometimes being quiet has its advantage..
it's a time for you to stop talking and listen..
is it a wrong thing?
i wonder...
i'm sorry..
i dont usually express myself well..
i tend to hide what i really felt and smile and goof around if i'm sad..
i just wanna forget all the sad things as i believe happiness is important..
i really appreciate my friends too even they did ot realise it...
i hope one day i'll have the courage to do what i never did
and i'll try to be a better friend...

whoops...should have posted this long ago..oh..nvm..at least i posted it..lol..


WE decided to celebrate MR L's bday later than expected..like one week after his REAL bday...
it's not our fault anyways...cause we had like TEST 2 around the corner and everybody doesnt have the mood to celebrate so.....SORRY MR L....our apologies...


Anyways...
after rounds of heaty debate and numerous rounds of discussion(actually not even 3)ehem..
we decided to head for FRENZ AND FAMILY..
(My idea)...XP...


well...our plan for that night almost got ruined by MR L...UNEXPECTEDLY...He told us on a last minute basis that he's going DAMAI on SATURDAY..yikes....
i stil vaguely remember miss C asked me:HOW LEH?
my answer was as cool as a cucumber...:NVM LO..no need celebrate..(i dun mean it la..)


in the end...THX GOD....his damai trip was decided to be on a friday...*PHEW*


so saturday....We went to MR L's house to pick him...
then headed for THE PLACE>.<


the surprise for the night was a special happy bday video and a scrapbook...
WE almost crack our head just to think of a sutable bday present..
in the end..we decided to make a scrapbook just for him..
according to miss A...HE NEEDS LOVE...XP...


YUP..SO BOOM OUT CAME THE SCRAPBOOK...
then...since we gave miss C a special bday video...
so BOOM OUT CAME A VIDEO FOR LEON...


p/s between you and me..
we spent weeks to complete the video and scrapbook..
all the sleepless nights...all the time when i'm supposed to study....
I HOPE ALL OF THIS IS WORTH IT...xp..


ANYWAYS...
let the photos do the talking ..

pizza and onion ring..

lamb(lame)XP chop..

pork chop

the cake...i love this cake sooo much..

so pretty...XP

my share of the cake..

doing some pretty serious operation on my lame chop..

MR L is seducing MISS C with that piece of meat...

so busy ah u??=.=

yes..i poked his nose...lol..

this is a nice photo of MISS A..

lastly..

HAPPY 18TH BDAY TO THE BDAY BOY!

NICE LEH...EHEM..

THX MISS C AND MR J FOR DRIVING

THX MISS A N MISS J FOR COMING

THX ALL THOSE WHO HELPED...

XP

yea...i know what goin through your mind now...kch fest is long gone...
whoopss...sorry for posting late on this event...XP...life is busy...XP


anyways...
this year i get to spend my time hunting for food with my old and new friends which i'm grateful with.i mean..u don't really get to spend some quality time with old and new friends at THE SAME TIME..


as usual...
kch fest is congested with people and cars...
lots of food which does not really put much effort on its quality and quantity yet they KILL you with their prices...
it's HOT HOT HOT where you sweat a lot...i think that's a good thing if u lack of exercise...ehem...


I went there with my INTI gang PLUS miss KElly..XP
we spend about one hour just to get there as traffic was overflowing..YIKES....=.=
then spend about 15 mnutes just to find a parking spot..(blame it for MISS Cs lousy luck)


overall it''s a fun night out with my friends...XP
let the pictures do the talking...XP

camwhoring around the park after eating...

scary huh?XP

eee...

miss C and muar...XD

yes..we're facinated by THE SIGN...

at least we're not the only one...

OH YEA!!!i recall something both stupid and funny...

we're hanging arounf the pond where there's lots of people fishing yet they had this " no fishing at this area sign"...

so kelly suggested to take a picture with it..

when it's my turn to take a picture with the sign...

suddenly.....

something cold and slimmy junped up my foot...

when i looked down..

yikes..

it's a FISH!!..

omg...

apparently someone caught it but it slipped through his fingers...

then i started jumping up and down like a lunatic and cream...

......

guess wad my friends do..

they LAUGH AND LAUGH AND LAUGH...

=.=

so this is what you call friends..

peng you jiu shi zhi yang..=P

so a whole bunch if people was looking my way and..yea....ehem..

so embarrassing!!OMG>>..

memepersiasoilkan to the MAX..

but still..

it's not smtg that you''ll experience everyday..

so at least i have smtg funny to share..=)

this was taken right after THE INCIDENT...see alene sooo high...

and i was like..:what the HELL happened just now?

group pic!<3

this was taken right after mr L called me up and said:

dont move your ass until i get there...

so me and cynthia actually listened to what he said..lol..

OPPS!!I JUST REALISED>>

i 4gt to take a pic..yup..not even one..

with MR L!!..yikes...

oh well...who cares...(kidding)

cant wait til next year's kch fest!XP

yippee!!!finally..semester break is here!!holiday!!yeah!!!

waiting for this break for a long time already...
XP

this also means it's time to DIG IN my As studies...
external exam coming soon..
so again..
my holiday is not THE holiday i expected..
haiz...

no matter what...
i'm gonna make the best of it...

cant wait to meet all my friends and hang out with them...
cant wait to update myself with all the anime episodes i missed..
cant wait to update my BLOG..

happy holidays to me...XP